Dear Mother Nature,Please find enclosed 6000 tons of snow that was mistakenly dropped on Edmonton this morning. Look, there are rules. There’s supposed to be a natural order–i.e., things happen in an orderly fashion. First you have summer, which is wh…
Violets are blue,
You are my wife,
And I love you.
When I am down, you order my slaves
To make me my favourite meal;
You always seem to be able to tell
Just how it is I feel.
You’re so pretty and kind,
So charming and coy,
And also I think that Carthage must be destroyed.
As you’ve probably heard, now that Ted “Jesus Is My Co-Pilot” Cruz and John “Comparatively Moderate” Kasich have dropped out of the race, the presumptive Republican presidential nominee is sexist billionaire Silvio Berlusconi.Believed to have originall…
Last night, in a battle fought across the country, the young wizard Harry Potter delivered a resounding defeat to the Dark Lord Voldemort. Potter was widely considered too young and inexperienced to be a serious threat to He Who Now Can Be Named Freely…